OK to slap a wife?

This judge needs a lesson in domestic violence 101.
Below is an excerpt from the Associated Press.

RIYADH (AFP) — A Saudi judge has told a seminar on domestic violence that it is okay for a man to slap his wife for lavish spending, a local newspaper reported on Sunday. Jeddah judge Hamad al-Razine gave the example of overspending to buy a high-end abaya, the head-to toe black shroud Saudi women have to wear in public, as justifying a smack for one's wife, Arab News said. "If a person gives 1,200 riyals (320 dollars) to his wife and she spends 900 riyals (240 dollars) to purchase an abaya from a brand shop, and if her husband slaps her on the face as a reaction to her action, she deserves that punishment," he said. The judge's remarks sparked an outcry at the seminar on the role of judicial and security officials in preventing domestic violence, the paper reported. The seminar was attended by officials as well as activists on domestic violence, including representatives of the National Family Safety Programme.
Razine acknowledged the depth of the problem of domestic violence, until recently not acknowledged as a serious issue in the ultra-conservative Muslim country, where family problems traditionally remained behind closed doors. Saudi women have in the past few years become more vocal about the problem of husbands beating wives and fathers mistreating children.

But Razine said some of the blame must be shouldered by wives for their behaviour. "Nobody puts even a fraction of the blame on them," he said, according to the report

So - the lesson is - even if someone says or does something to make you angry, that does not give you the right to hit, slap, punch or otherwise assault another person. Isn't that what we teach our children every day? I think it is one of the most difficult lessons for kids to learn. As adults, we expect that behavior to be mastered, but its not. This is not specific to this culture only. Unfortunately, almost every culture seems to believe a part of this thinking. We say here in the United States, that domestic violence is unacceptable. We have laws that protect victims of domestic violence. Yet the fact that domestic violence is so prevalent among households in the U.S., among the rich and poor, all races and ethnicities, and in every geographic location, speaks of the opposite belief. The fact is that there are many men who believe they have the right to hit their wife. (And yes there are male victims too). But the fact is that 85-90% of victims are women with male offenders. So it seems to be an accepted way of thinking in the U.S. for many. Research says that 1 out of every 4 women will be abused in their lifetime. That is a disturbing statistic.

I am glad that Saudi women are speaking out against this injustice. And the fact is.... we in the United States need to speak up even more than we have. If you have a story about domestic violence, please tell me. And lets figure out a way to get more of these stories told. So, in the end, all men and women feel safe in their homes and relationships.

And a very strong thank you to the many men who have already lent their voice to this issue. There are more good men in this community than abusive men. And we need them to stand up and speak out against domestic violence.