Let us not forget the staggering statistics

Domestic violence is pervasive in our country - we know that. But what many do not know is that pregnant women carry a high risk of homicide from their abusive partners. The Gloucester Daily Times reports on a study of pregnant women and injury-related deaths from 1990 to 1999 conducted by the Massachusetts Department of Public Health and found "that homicide was the leading cause of death (38 percent), more than motor vehicle collisions (26 percent) and drug overdoses (20 percent). In Massachusetts there have already been 14 people murdered by an abusive partner since Jan. 1 of this year.

It seems that batterers take advantage of a victim when they are most vulnerable. Not only do they instill fear in the vicitm, they put them down so much that eventually many victims begin to think the abuse is their fault. And they especially escalate their tactics when the victim is pregnant. How low can you go? That is my question. While victims wind up working very hard at "how not to make the abuser angry", the abuser will ALWAYS find something to get angry, or yet enraged about.

We, as in the genral public and in awareness campaigns, need to find a way to talk with victims and let them know

• it is not their fault,
• there is help
• and we are here for them.

We, as in the community. We cannot do that however, as long as there are people in our society who keep blaming the victims. They say - well why doesn't she leave? She is asking for it. She provoked it. She could leave if she really wants to. These are all victim blaming phrases and questions. When someone asks these - I know they are speaking about something that they really don't understand. Because once you understand the complexities related to domestic violence and the impact of victimization, you don't ask those questions or make those statements. You wind up saying things like "How can we get the message across to victims to HELP them, not blame them? How can we show our support as a society?

In Massachusetts, as the Legislature debates next year's budget, they are considering the public safety benefit of a tax increase to support prevention services that help keep children and families safe during these challenging times. This is one way to reach out to more victims. This may not be the answer for everyone or every state. But at least they are searching for answers. Please help DVC and Ohio search for answers so that we may support victims, hold abusers more accountable and decrease domestic violence. Any ideas? Please share them with me. I am always looking for new, innovative and creative ways to help victims.